All of the nastiness and aggression that men are accused of can be found in the communication behavior of women. I have spent a lot of time studying relationship and patterns in relationship and events in the world and how they are allowed or created by how people relate to one another. Ever since I was a child I was hypersensitive to sounds and communication styles. I used to get sick to my stomach listening to live music, and I developed a psychosomatic response to the sound of Diane Chambers, Shelley Long‘s character on cheers. It wasn’t until I read A. R. Luria‘s book THE MIND OF THE MNEMONIST that I truly started pondering my sensitivity to sound. I have an almost autistic level of sensitivity to sound, Diane Chamber’s timber made my heart race and I became agitated and my eyes dilated and I wanted to kill something. I am not like other people, my mind is always working. I relax into philosophy and higher thought, I am not happy if I don’t have a good conversation or learn something new every day. This caused me to ponder the difference in communication styles between men and women. http://alfrodull.wordpress.com/2011/02/20/the-most-annoying-character-on-tv/
I recently watched this documentary on Seaworld and noticed something interesting, they said that Tillikum was harassed by the two females he was originally put in the tank with, they would bite him for no reason and leave bloody marks on him. Tillikum was a larger than average male killer whale. After studying Deborah Tannen‘s male and female communication rituals and coming up with my theory that male and female brains are actually two different type of intelligences with different approaches to life, value systems, and strategies in relationship I found it interesting how similar Tillikum’s experiences were to my own. Women will henpeck me and provoke me with no provocation on my part just as they did to him. I began to ponder if this wasn’t because as a large male he represented a potential threat to them so they started testing him or trying to gain psychological leverage over him.
All of the nastiness and aggression that men are accused of can be found in feminine communication rituals and strategies. When left alone the female mind acts like a parasite to the male mind. Women are aggressive in passive ways, they are passively aggressive, covertly hostile. I have always found it fascinating how over time the woman eventually manages to leverage herself to the point where she takes complete artistic control of the relationship and the man while in it is not allowed to be himself or to be interested in what he is naturally interested in. Women indulge themselves in female pornography, puppies, kittens, babies, but men are judged as bad for being interested in the type of pornography that creates they pornography she enjoys.
As I become aware of the subtle processes and strategies that women use I realized two things, society in general doesn’t detect them because they are considered normal. Society has been trained not to scrutinize women or look for them to be the cause of the bad. Society in general has a feminine bias. Society will blame other things for the behavior of women. If somebody says, “man that lady is a bitch, she really did a number on me.” Somebody will respond, “she must have really gotten screwed over by some man.” Not only is she rescued from her own behavior, blame for her behavior is put on some imagined male scape goat and she is allowed to go on her crazy way, unscrutinized or blamed, working her evil will on the universe. The ancients didn’t keep men and women separate to protect women, they did it to protect masculinity from femininity.
Millions of years of gender reinforcement create neural myelination that passes down through cellular memory. Men are insensitive to their own feelings because life is hard and they have to do unpleasant things so that they and their women and children can live, and women have to be sensitive to their own feelings because they need to feel that feelings are valid in order to be good mothers and take care of horrible little maggot poop factories that wine, because babies communicate no analytical data and only emotional data. Women and men and children are insensitive to men. Go figure.
Not just that, you can see that women have adopted communication strategies designed specifically to manipulate the male mind which is sensitive to sound. They speak in a high pitch, with a rapid cadence. Persian women have adopted the behavior of speaking in low manly tones to communicate dominance and to turn men off sexually. All of this works on a subliminal level, women don’t realize they are doing it, and neither do men.
Women ask for mercy from their man, they beg for quarter, they start the relationship by asking him to tell her a lie or perform a herculean labor and then when he fails or fails to protect her from reality of the truth she blames him for a situational problem. Women use leading questions herding men in certain directions. “Why don’t you play with the children?” and then when they start liking him more than her, “How come you spend so much time with the children? are you some kind of freak?” Women use humiliation rituals. “How come you spend so much time with your boyfriends, are you gay?” She tries to define a real man by what he does for her and what he puts up with from her. How is it that women are the arbiters of what it means to be “real men” are men the judge of real women? ‘Cause I have some ideas, just sayin’…
- The Psychology Of Bitchiness: Women Use Slut-Shaming As A Defense Tactic (medicaldaily.com)
- The Evolution of Bitchiness – Olga Khazan – The Atlantic (theatlantic.com)
- Understanding Female Financial Security: Is There A Difference With Men? (debtconsolidationusa.com)
- Can bitchiness get you a man? (iol.co.za)