Insanity.

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They say that psychopaths don’t reform, they just become more manipulative.  I guess I wanted to see if it was true.  I am still not convinced, I think psychopaths could be reformed with torture, I believe that psychopaths only respect coercive authority.  I think this is because they were over coddled as children when they should have had their asses beat.  Their parents created an environment where they children could manipulate them and rewarded the children for manipulating them, or lying to them successfully.

I learned long ago to observe a person’s actions and their results more than what they tell you they are doing or thinking.  This is one of the ruses psychopaths like to use to manipulate people.  They say this is what I am doing and this is why I am doing it but they keep getting a different result.  When you point out the disparity between what they say and what they do, and force them to rationalize it, you get pretty words, and emotional appeals but the behavior remains consistent and the result the same.

I have long observed all the strategies and techniques women like to use for passive aggressively taking over the relationship, it is amazing that this pattern remains so consistent and women will lie to your face when you confront the behavior and the result.  I don’t know, I just kind of hate my life, it is so obvious to me what is going on.  What women do isn’t love, because it isn’t reasonable, it is greedy and stupid, insidiously evil.  Below is a photoshop I did for L, this is her gambit, her ace up her sleave, she is a histrionic psychopath which means that she manipulates people with an appeal to sympathy.

L is very good at portraying herself as a victim of circumstance tossed about on the sea of fate.  A helpless, hapless, hopeless victim.  But that is the strategy that has been most successful for her all of her life, appealing to others pity by looking pathetic.

wikipedia:

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotions and attention-seeking, including inappropriately seductive behavior and an excessive need for approval, usually beginning in early adulthood. People affected by HPD are lively, dramatic, vivacious, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. HPD affects four times as many women as men.[1] It has a prevalence of 2–3% in the general population, and 10–15% in inpatient and outpatient mental health institutions.[2]

HPD lies in the dramatic cluster of personality disorders.[3] People with HPD have a high need for attention, make loud and inappropriate appearances, exaggerate their behaviors and emotions, and crave stimulation.[3] They may exhibit sexually provocative behavior, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and can be easily influenced by others. Associated features includeegocentrismself-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve their own needs.

Essentially what the histrionic psychopath does is she makes an appeal to emotion by characterizing herself as a victim of everything causing people to come to her rescue.  She has used this gambit repeatedly throughout her life successfully.  Like Fritz Perls says, “a person will emulate whatever behavior they believe to be dominant.”

Appeal to emotion or argumentum ad passiones is a logical fallacy which uses the manipulation of the recipient’s emotions, rather than valid logic, to win an argument. The appeal to emotion fallacy uses emotions as the basis of an argument’s position without factual evidence that logically supports the major ideas endorsed by the elicitor of the argument. Also, this kind of thinking may be evident in one who lets emotions and/or other subjective considerations influence one’s reasoning process. This kind of appeal to emotion is a type of red herring and encompasses several logical fallacies, including:

In spite of my repeatedly pointing out her recurring patterns in her behavior she refused to change them.  One of the boundaries I laid down for her was not going outside the relationship to make me look like an ass.  On over 8 different occasions since I have told her not to do this I have found out that she was doing it.  The last yesterday.  It’s not just that, she causes these big scenes, she doesn’t participate with reason, she agrees to stuff and then doesn’t act on it or does the exact opposite of what she said.  She expects me to be loyal to her and predictable to her while she does whatever she wants, leveraging herself against the relationship, trying to use the relationship as though it were money, using my reputation while at the same time ruining my reputation.  Psychopaths are insane, they consider themselves as the cause of the good, they are incapable of scrutinizing themselves, punishing themselves, controlling themselves, or being critical of themselves.  They do not respect your boundaries.  Because everything they do is good, they, like your mother have no reason to respect your boundaries, why do you need boundaries?  Are you hiding something?  They presuppose their own moral authority to judge others and to punish others while refusing to accept the consequences of their actions.

A few nights ago was the last straw, once again L was building herself up to throw a hissy fit. She competes with my room mate, an old lady, L feels aggressive towards any women around me, anyway, my room mate doesn’t have to stay in her room until after 8, and it was 7 and L was flashing her eyes at her like an animal like she always does.  L is also jealous of the attention I give to my little 10 pound cockapoo, which is a way of reliving my child hood in a positive way because of having an abusive father and family life.  My only family in the world is this old lady and my dog and L wants to get me away from both of them so she can hen peck and nag me into insanity or submission.  So I asked her if she wanted to cheer up or get out and immediately she started raising her voice, we have a rule, she doesn’t get to yell at me, she communicates reasonably and there are topics that she can’t talk about namely my room mate and my dog.  She compares herself to my dog and my room mate, she is not my dog and she is not my room mate, my relationship with her is my relationship with her, not my relationship with them.  Does she want to be my dog?  Cuz then I will treat her like my dog.

Long story short she says that she will leave but she is going to take all the food she bought, great, I work retail and it is thanksgiving and I had to put up with bitchy, retarded, customers and employees all day so all I want is to enjoy myself in peace.  She leaves and I sit down to watch some tv.  Next thing I know she is banging at the door and window, and yelling at me, oh and she yelled at me in the parking lot in front of my neighbors (3-story apartment building), I gave her all the food she bought and some of the food I bought.  I know she said it just to win the argument, she expected me to back down, instead I helped her load up her car.  So now she is banging on my window and calling me again and again and again.  She eventually stops and I don’t know where she is but come to find out she is over at my neighbors, a 6 foot tall skin head with amphetamine psychosis.  She is using her power play, acting like a victim to get people to come to her aid.

Knock knock.  Who is it?  Skin head.  Skin head who?

I open the door this time, cuz it’s no L, and their is skinhead, I am standing there in my underwear with my right nut hanging out half asleep and he is standing there very excited with electrical tape wrapped around his knuckles.  He very loudly with violent gestures explains to me that he is going to protect my girl friend from me.  I figure he was there for about 15 minutes yelling at me, he was standing inside my door.  I am no slouch to combat but I was tired, and I am getting old, I realized long ago that when a person is this prepared for battle and drunk and who knows what else they are on, that you don’t waste words, you prepare for actions, reason will avail you not.  I am trying to think how I can prevent the conflict from escalating.  If I close the door he will block it and start a fight.  If I ask him to leave nicely he will refuse and start a fight.  If I try to push him out of the door he will start a fight.  Solution, quickly move his center of gravity and lock the door.  I double fist punch him in the chest, to move his center of gravity and then close and lock the door.    At the very least it will create a trail of evidence if he pursues the conflict.  He punches the door leaving two massive dents right about neck level where I would have been.

THE CAUSE OF THE GOOD

What is so fascinating about the psychopathic mind is that it never admits that it was wrong.  It always perceives itself as the cause of the good.  Not only did L not take responsibility, she lied about being at his house, and when pressed she asked me why I didn’t take out my anger on him?  Why wasn’t I angry at him?  Because I don’t have a relationship with him, I have a relationship with you and I expect you not to be an idiot and put me in harms way.  I talked to her briefly the next day and she was still as remorseless as ever and full of venom and vitriol.  Raising her voice, talking over me, still on the warpath.  I told her not to call me, and not to come over, if she came over I would call the police.  Almost immediately the phone starts ringing and 15 minutes later she is knocking at my door.

Psychopaths don’t reform, they just become more manipulative…..

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22 thoughts on “Insanity.”

  1. Joxua…for reals? I feel like I just watched a soap opera. All I can say is that I’m so sorry. Relationships are complicated with complex algorithms. I’ve always been a partisan to Osho’s quote which I’m sure you readily know. ““If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
    Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
    So if you love a flower, let it be.
    Love is not about possession.
    Love is about appreciation.”
    ― Osho
    People live their lives in fear which gives them a hole instead of a whole. Then they look to others, the world, money, the world system, distractions, drugs, alcohol, attention, anything to try to fill that hole. We are vessels that are meant to be filled, Yes, some of it should come from a meaningful relationship with spouse /significant other and others, and a meaningful relationship with oneself, but there are seats in that vessel that the Creator reserved only for Himself to fill. This girl cant be your everything and she can’t expect you to be her everything and try to possess you. We weren’t built that way. Be freed.
    I’m supposed to share some things with you at some point and to get your thoughts on a couple things. Not sure how as I only see you briefly on Saturdays when you’re working.

    BTW…nice ninja response at the door. 🙂 Hope he doesn’t give you any more trouble.

    1. Ty, yes, unfortunately it is all true. I am not taking it very well. She is taking it even worse but if she had been participating, learning, and agreeing like she should have been for the past year instead of fucking up in the exact same way over and over it never would have happened. So I refuse to feel pity for her, especially because she didn’t apologize and instead of modifying her behavior and meditating on her stupidity she is doubling down. two different people mentioned her to me today in passing, one at Barnes and noble, one at trader joe’s and the day before one of my neighbors with a very irritated gf explained how she came over and cried for an hour. but still no apology on her part and no promise to permanently modify her behavior. She feels sorry, but she feels sorry for herself, that she finally has to experience the consequences of her spoiled, stupid, selfish actions.

  2. The struggle is often the place of breakthrough. I have witnessed the power of prayer so often in my life. I will lift you up…and her, as this is her journey too.
    Joshua (my Joshua), and I have an amazing relationship, but it came through many of its own challenges. The golden cord between us kept us together, but the difference between us and what you’re experiencing with Lynn, is that we both knew the other was trying and we learned to take accountability for our actions. If you don’t, you can’t grow and evolve, thus becoming victim to repeating the same things over and over, as you essentially stated. Sounds like Lynn has chosen to worship at the idol of her own pride (which is fear), than to realize it’s ok to make mistakes as long as she cares enough to learn from them. Thank you for giving her the chances, but it seems from what you say, that she wasn’t really choosing to be a partner. Generally speaking, men view life primarily through the mind, women the heart. Women need to move some of that energy through the mind in order to have an evolved perspective of how men work (in essence, strengthening their own masculine energies), and likewise, men need to move some of the mental energy through the heart (strengthening one’s female energies), for the same reasons. The mind has to have sex with the heart and heart has to have sex with the mind. People seem to get “stuck” in one or the other instead of realizing that they are meant to flow together to become something greater altogether.

    You may find this strange, but I really don’t care. There is a host around me right now and they are strongly urging me to tell you that you are greatly LOVED and want you to know that. Just delivering the message… Gotta get off to work…

    Btw, the little poking around I’ve done through your articles, great stuff. Thank you for sharing and for what you’re trying to do in raising our consciousness and evolving our default mechanisms. Have a great day.

  3. Yes, hun. I was upset that you would abruptly kick me out right before we were to enjoy our dinner and for those that are unaware of the other side of the story. There is a lot more to this situation and there is a different perspective. Hun, I have tried my hardest to be supportive and encourage you in any way possible. I am not perfect and neither are you. Now can you please stop writing about me on the blogs that we have created together as a joint effort. Airing out our dirty laundry on the world wide web! Its one thing to vent but I meant no malice. We have both gotten angry, we are human. There are times that you have gotten irately angry at me and I have tried my hardest to keep my composure despite being yelled at and talked down to and it hasn’t been easy. Just as you get angry at me, there are times where I get angry too and it doesn’t necessarily mean that its a histrionic fit, and if that is the case you have had your own histrionic fits. Two wrongs don’t make a right. There are many times that I have tried to be a peacemaker in many situation although sometimes things do get the best of me. Neither of us is wrong or bad, hun. I never said you were bad. Neither one of us is bad. Nobody thinks badly of you and neither do I and of course, there are things that I don’t like and things that make me upset and likewise there are things about me that make you upset, although as long as we have love in our hearts for one another we cannot do wrong. Love covers all wrongs. We all fall short, and yes, I fall short also. Things do get the best of me sometimes, but neither one of us is wrong. I do not mean to hurt you, but I know that sometimes I do and for that I am sorry.

    In regards to the Kimberly person that commented on the thread, for you to suggest that I am worshiping my ego, you don’t know me to say that and you certainly do not know the whole story. You have made a judgment about with me without even having known me.

    1. Not a judgement, Lynn, rather a statement predicated on comments made and a situation portrayed. That is why the comment was prefaced with such words as “based on what you’ve said,” and “seems like”. You are absolutely correct. I do not know you and I do not know Joshua. I would not be able to make a judgement on such since I am far removed from the situation, and have not understood your side. My reason for such a statement, however, was not seated in position as an arbitrator, but rather used to demonstrate the point that in relationships, often our fears serve our ego by manifesting pride. Lynn was not to be attacked personally (for you are correct, I do not know you), but rather a character in role-play to demonstrate my point.
      My husband and I had our fair share of this earlier in our relationship. It was felt in the heart as this painful mess, but until it could be brought out to the play in the mind, it could not be delineated and thus dealt with in an attempt to make a change.

  4. And as far as your neighbor coming to your door, since then he has come to your door and apologized. For those that don’t know, his neighbor was upset because he heard us on the phone and didn’t like how you were speaking to me and I did not think that what he did was correct or justified. He should not have gone up to your door yelling and screaming like that, of course it was wrong but it happened because he heard us on the phone and got upset. Things like this happen and of course, its not right.

  5. I believe that edification is the proper role of a godly woman and my hope and prayer is to become a godly woman and an example to other women. One that brings people together and heal and mend not tear down, sever, and tear down the hope of reconciliation.

    Titus 2:3
    King James Version (KJV)
    3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

    1. Lynn, I would agree with you there. Reconciliation should typically be the first goal. Again, my words were based on a portrayal that certain actions were being repeated again and again over a long period of time without change. Generally speaking, when agreements are made in a relationship with anyone, and are not adhered to over and over, insanity would immobilize us to change nothing but expect a different result. There must be some progression toward a different outcome. Wanting to change is not the same thing as the action of change. The heart must be married to the hand. Only those in the actual relationship can truly know/discern when the line is to be drawn in the sand. Sometimes the healing and rebuilding has to come after the deconstruction and departure. Even God Himself divorced Israel-His own people. He hates hypocrisy more than divorce. Hypocrisy is lukewarmness. Separation can polarize us to definition and exact from us a choice to change. May the direction you choose find you on your highest path. Evolution and ascension

  6. yes…you do sound hypocritical considering that you choose to glorify your relationship on this thread and talk about me like a piece of trash….i can read between the lines and you are not fooling me…I can feel your vibration and its not the vibration of love but judgment about me about a situation you do not know

    1. Is this your godly response as a godly woman that you’re so seeking for? Why all the erratic and unchecked emotion? Yes, it did seem like a soap opera, not just you, but the entire scene, the man at the door, Joxua’s feelings, everything. My perception, not wrong or right, just my feelings. Why do you take all my comments so personally? I don’t know which relationship that you are speaking of that you believe I am glorifying. My reIationship with my husband IS awesome, if that’s what you are referring to, but don’t think for a moment that we haven’t earned it after years of working through our own challenges. But it is with this wisdom that I hope to help others…that is love. So whatever vibration your feeling, it is the unresolve in your own heart. I wouldn’t know if you are trash or completely amazing. I don’t know you personally. I base my comments, not my personal judgements, only on material presented. This should be a given. Obviously I’m not omniscient and don’t know the entire situation. I don’t claim to. That is not even close to the point. The hypocrisy I’m referring to was spoken of in third person so that you would understand that I’m trying to make a hypothetical statement, not meant to attack any one individual. When we claim to be in a relationship, but aren’t adhering to the agreed tenets of the relationship, it is pretense. It is an image with no secured foundation for that image. This is hypocrisy. We have all been guilty of this at one time or another. This is what I’m referring to. Again, not a personal attack on Lynn herself, but a statement based on representations that Joxua had made. It was a door of availability to make a point and communally share wisdom.

  7. I have dealt with women like you before and women such as yourself will continue to exist, older women with their bad hypocritical advice. You, yourself even claimed that your relationship with your husband was a challenge, as relationships can be and at the same time you are basically advising that I be dumped on and speak of me as if I am a non-entity, a non-person and non-human, and agreeing with the premise that I should be used as a psychological case study. I read between the lines lady and you’re not fooling me. Using an Osho quote to compare me to a flower with the following words

    ““If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
    Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
    So if you love a flower, let it be.
    Love is not about possession.
    Love is about appreciation.”
    ― Osho

    and then you said “People live their lives in fear which gives them a hole instead of a whole. Then they look to others, the world, money, the world system, distractions, drugs, alcohol, attention, anything to try to fill that hole. We are vessels that are meant to be filled, Yes, some of it should come from a meaningful relationship with spouse /significant other and others, and a meaningful relationship with oneself, but there are seats in that vessel that the Creator reserved only for Himself to fill. This girl cant be your everything and she can’t expect you to be her everything and try to possess you. We weren’t built that way. Be freed. I’m supposed to share some things with you at some point and to get your thoughts on a couple things. Not sure how as I only see you briefly on Saturdays when you’re working.”

    And then as you are speaking about the glories of freedom and being free, you then mention the difficulties that you had in your relationship with your husband and how wonderful your relationship with your husband is now and how joxua’s relationship with me is not like your relationship with your husband. You are either trying to appeal to joxua for whatever reason or foolish for giving out advice about a situation you do not know.

    You made judgments and gave advice based on a situation you don’t know about and unaware of the other side. Therefore, I really question your motives and your spirituality given the fact that this article and situation pertains to me and I am able to make a judgment of my own relationship. You for the most part, agreed with this public lynching article of me. Not even considering that there is a possibility that there is another side or another perspective also and that there are things that you do not know.

    1. I am not interested in whether you question my motives and spirituality. I live for an audience of One. I am not the subject at hand. And neither are you really. Lynn was a character in role-play to conceptually discuss relational ideas. I do not expect you to understand how I work or that my comments were made for general constructive conversation, solely based on material presented and stated as such. Perhaps it would have been more digestible to you if you weren’t placed in the position of being one of the main characters. The fact that there is another side to the story, many sides actually, is a given and really goes without saying. But that material was not presented to me, and in and of itself, was not the subject matter at hand, We were merely discussing his thoughts/feelings. If you had shared yours, perhaps we could discuss that material as well. Regarding my husband, no hypocrisy there. We actually had to come to a place where we were freed from each other…, free from the fears of vulnerability, the ego, and did seriously consider physical separation. We died to ourselves before our healing began with constructive progressions forward. We had to get out of the middle ground of lukewarmness in order to change an outcome. I share these things with the intent of helping others from experience gained. But in any relationship, repeating the same negative behaviors doesn’t lead anywhere. I’m sorry you feel this is bad advice.

      In these conversations with you, it is apparent that you speak primarily from emotion and again choose to placate your ego through your posture of defense, not being open to see any logic behind what is being suggested, or that emotion and logic need to connect. It was my understanding that these forums were a place to share- to give and receive. Perhaps I am wrong. This is your sight as well, that you mentioned you help Joxua build? What was your intent in its construction? Hopefully not just a place to be heard only but also to listen. I am open to consider your ideas as well, but unfortunately, all but few of the things you state are rooted in emotion and have led to circular arguments.

      Btw, You were not the flower in Osho’s poem, Joxua was. For the most part, I speak holistically. My reason to bring up the poem was partly based on your situation with him and his comments regarding possession, but also in response to a general theme that he has spoken of in other postings regarding his frustration with women/women’s energies and their need to control the penis/control relationships. I agree that this is far too prevalent in the world experience. Love is about appreciation, not possession.

      Thanks for the engaging conversation, but I think unless I see that it’s going somewhere, there isn’t much left to be said and I don’t need to be a part of it.

      Best wishes and Have a good day.

  8. Gosh, Lady, I don’t know where to begin…Here you go again, pecker slapping me with judgments every chance you get without even knowing another side to the story. It is very clear to me that you are making judgments about me all over the place without even knowing me and this is based on your myopic narrative and assumptions.

    I appreciate the fact that you have taken an interest in the material and blogs and have provided input on the material presented. Joxua and I have had many lengthy discussions about how to put the material together and yes, by all means, all credit given where credit is due. Joxua is the brain child of almost all the writings here and has studied these subjects at length with much passion and zeal as a wisdom seeker. I encourage expression, especially expression as a form of catharsis. It is cleansing as long as once it is said it is released and relinquished.

    So I respectfully request that you refrain from making judgments about my character. I am deeply offended by your repeated attempts to make remarks about me and labeling me as an egotistical person. For me, at this point, this isn’t a whose right and whose wrong, finger pointing but how we treat one another. We all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Each person in relationship has their own sets of needs and desires and caring for one another should be paramount. We will not always agree and friction does occur, and yes, there are times where we do come to an impasse.

    My belief is that as long as we have love in our hearts for one another, it will see us through. Love is the answer. Love being the ultimate wisdom that surpasses all understanding. When we speak in love then we cannot do wrong. When we speak with hatred in our hearts then we are not speaking the language of God. Yes, we do not like being rebuked and corrected, and yes, we do need a kick in the ass every so often, but most importantly, what is the intent behind it. It’s not WHAT you do but WHY do you do what you do?

    1. Lynn constantly screws everything up for me. She can’t just create value for the relationship. She can’t do the good without undoing it with the bad. case in point she is trolling one of my best subscribers on my blog…
      what an insane, evil, idiot.

  9. Yes, Lynn Marie. My intention is to pecker slap you with judgements every chance I get because I have nothing better to do with the investment of my personal time. Really? I don’t need to discuss your personal ego…it speaks for itself.
    On a better note, I appreciate most of what you said here, with the exception that love is only half the equation. Love is nothing without its subsequent proper action and action is nothing without proper intent/love. The hand must be married to the heart.

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