One day the river got in an argument with a lake 

“I am so much greater than you” 

said the lake

“you swell a few times a year and sometimes completely disappear”

the Ocean chimed in,

“Both of you are pathetic, I am broader and deeper than both of you

10 times over, your squabbling is petty.” 

And then one single drop of water spoke…

“None of you would exist without me, 

there is nothing you are that I am not. 

Every jot and tittle in you is me.  

I am ever present within you and I know everything about you. “


We should strive to make our ego like a drop of water hovering in a weightless environment with no forces acting on it, perfectly round and calm, at peace, and we should make an effort to maintain that state in the face of difficulty.  Not stepping one toe off the path we have set out for ourselves.  Always consciously doing our own perfect will and accepting the consequences for it.  



I Love Indian Miss America!


What a cutey, and she is from southern India as well, not northern India.  I love her dark skin.  We have all of these immigrants in America that despise America, not so with Indian immigrants, as long as they aren’t Muslim.  I see Indian people every day and the whole family is wearing american flag shirts.  These people love our country more than we do I fear. Not to mention India has been one of our most consistent allies in the middle east, not once even flinching in its affection for us when surrounded by China, Persia, and everybody else that hates freedom.  I don’t even want to talk about the undeserved comments that are being made about this sweet little thing that I embrace with my heart.  Congratulations on your well deserved victory you gorgeous little gopi.  You finally made the Miss America Pageant interesting to me.



Death of a Comedy God


Man, devastating, this guy was a legend, a guru to the loose cannon tour de force Robin Williams, he pushed the envelope back in the day, his stuff was edgy, Genius, and unique.  I remember the first time I saw him in a black and white performance from the 1950’s he probably got as close as one could to making a bestiality joke in front of a live TV audience that alone should be a testament to his scathing brilliance.  I am sure that he influenced my comedy style which I do under the name of Adam Wolfe.  Any way, I just wanted to give him a shout out.  I would like to have known him but at least I was graced by knowing of him.  So many people I feel akin to and I never get to meet….


Confessions of a Male Stripper




A little about me, I was raised Jehovah’s Witness by a family that was considered strict even by JW standards.  My parents expected dating to be serious and for the purpose of marriage.  I wasn’t allowed to date until the age of 18 when I disappeared.  The expectation that one would be able to get marriage right the first time with no experience is like expecting someone to walk up too the plate in the last inning of the last game of the World Series and hit a home run while never having swung a bat before in your life, or at least that is what it feels like to me in retrospect, as I mentioned they were strict…

After my first colossal fuck up with my fiance’ I realized that while trying to find a woman that was the opposite of my mother I had attracted to myself my mother with short blonde hair in start of long dark hair.  I realized that I knew literally nothing about these evil insane creatures and I would NEVER be in an exclusive relationship with one again.  I needed an enriched environment in which I could study women.  So I became a male stripper because I am a fast learner.  I was never allowed to dance so I was very nervous when I auditioned I had never danced before because of my upbringing but I was hired on the spot.  I literally learned to dance taking my clothes off on stage in front of women.

I danced for about 2 years and I observed women during that time.  People will tell you that a club is not a good place to observe women but I have found it pretty much a predictive model for all women that I have met in my life.  I would like to meet a woman that doesn’t think like a woman but I haven’t been that fortunate.

To say I was a good dancer would be an understatement.  To this day I am an awesome dancer, I used to be a ringer  for this black AM radio station, SHUT THE DO’ with Darnell.  At the peak of my career I was hired to dance at the emerald queen casino for a Jay-Z concert.  I was made a feature performer and my lap dances were better than most that one can get from a woman.  I know because I have had a lot of lap dances from women, they actually influenced my style a lot.

I recently saw this movie, Magic Mike, and it reminded me of the experiences that I had, the stigma that women put on you if you are a male stripper.  It was frustrating for me to watch how women make choices, women are more interested in competing with one another than they are in being in relationship.  The ugliest brother in the club would make a minimum of $600 a night, easily, no matter how greasy his jerry curl was or how badly his teeth had rotted away.  It wasn’t like we had mainly black women in the club either, but they think in terms of stigma.  They think all of the other girls want the big black dick so they want the big black dick, and they would buy lap dances from them when they couldn’t even dance, while I made a maximum of $300 a night no matter how hard I busted my ass.  I wanted to break into acting or professional dancing or anything but I couldn’t get any support.  Women would fuck me but they wouldn’t support me and they didn’t trust me.

I had to stop dancing because I was beginning to hate women.  They couldn’t make decisions correctly and I am not allowed to smack them around a little bit.  I started hating stripping.  It wasn’t fun anymore and I had nothing else to learn from it, the enriched environment had been exhausted after only two years.  I remember Mark tried to get me to come back to dancing and I got up on stage and I started moving and I looked out at the audience and then I stopped and my head drooped and I just walked off the stage and out the door and I never came back.

My study of women continued with a 5 year bouncing career, most of it at a Samoan night club in Seatac that is now a casino.  It had a 900 capacity, two floors.  I got to study women in a slightly different environment and what I learned confirmed what I had seen thus far.  That was all over 10 years ago and I have continued learning in every relationship I have.  People think that it is not possible to understand women, women think it is not possible to understand women, they are both wrong.

Now that I know how women think I will never get into an exclusive relationship with one.  It just isn’t worth it.

Oh, yeah, one more thing.  My stage name was Sweetness.




The Mystery of the Asian Camel Toe



My mind doesn’t work like other peoples, I blame my Mnemonic exercises that I inflicted on myself when I was in high school.  I have a hard time forgetting, and I see patterns over a period of time that nobody else sees.  One of the things I noticed recently is that in my life I have seen a disproportionate amount of Asian camel toe in my life, not that I have been looking for it, just on the street.  In general they seem to have larger muffs than other cultures.  I started observing the phenomena more closely (no jokes please)  and I realized that a lot of the time it was older Asian women that also displayed the labia freely.  This piqued my interest.  

I came to the conclusion that Asian women use the display of their mounds as a way of communicating dominance to other females and it seems much more common in their culture, at least in Orange County, than with other cultures. 

I have had sex with a few Asian women and by far the best pussy I have had was a Korean woman and a Vietnamese woman, the quality was different, it seemed more sensitive, more alive, more intelligent. ( have also had sex with Asian women where it felt like I was fucking a hairy tennis racket….)  I started introspecting into my vast general and specific knowledge of occult topics and ancient perspectives and I realized that Asian women more than any other single group on the planet has had their breeding selection based on their ability to sexually please a man.  In the Asian perspective a man wanting sex is normal and good, they have a more masculine mentality than we do in the west.  The reason this is interesting is because of a theory I have.  


There is this thing called the “homunculus”

The homunculus is commonly used today in scientific disciplines, such as psychology, as a teaching or memory tool to describe the distortedscale model of a human drawn or sculpted to reflect the relative space human body parts occupy on the somatosensory cortex (sensory homunculus) and the motor cortex (motor homunculus). Both the motor and sensory homonculus usually appear as a small man superimposed over the top of the precentral or postcentral gyrus, for motor and sensory, respectively. The homunculus is oriented with feet medial and shoulders lateral on top of both the precentral and the postcentral gyrus (for both motor and sensory). The man’s head is depicted upside down in relation to the rest of the body such that the forehead is closest to the shoulders. The lips, hands, feet and sex organs have more sensory neurons than other parts of the body, so the homunculus has correspondingly large lips, hands, feet, and genitals. The motor homunculus is very similar to the sensory homunculus, but differs in several ways. Specifically, the motor homunculus has a portion for the tongue most lateral while the sensory homunculus has an area for genitalia most medial and an area for visceral organs most lateral.[9][10] Well known in the field of neurology, this is also commonly called “the little man inside the brain.” This scientific model is known as the cortical homunculus.    ~wikipedia

and it looks like this…



The reason that the features are distorted is because when a person has a large amount of neurons connected to a certain area of the body from repeated tasks those limbs and parts of the body take up more space on the surface of the brain.  I personally believe that neural myelination can be handed down through cellular memory as well, which means that the homunculus of an Asian woman would have an over sized vagina.  Ponder that why don’t you….

….cannot be unthought…..


Ataraxia’s Ode to Shivastus Solomonicus

Esoteric Repository

Ode to Siva-II
Oh Siva, why the stubbornness…
Why must we live in deceit.
This world is vanity and meaninglessness pervades
You know more than any person I have seen
Your insights pierce through illusion
Your words are your sword
You are the fire breathing dragon
The energy pervades the air
Cutting through the ignorance, that is the way,
Sticking down the structures
The dilapidated structures of ignorance and greed
Those that know, those that are consciously evil, you know their ways
They stick out like a sore thumb,
Those that deliberately and consciously harm are the evil,
The deliberate act of deceit, the ones that are ruthless without reason,
You have the perfect remedy, you know what to say and do
Lets cut through conscious ignorance together,
For your words are like swords and I am your sheath.

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During my first samadhi I had a sensation as though God was telling me a joke and I was the only one in the universe that was  laughing.

During my second death I had a feeling like god was a lonely old man telling himself stories and starting to believe they were real.

During my third death I realized that I was god.

During my fourth death I realized that I was nothing so it didn’t matter if I was god, everything, everywhere, was nothing.
The universe is NOTHING CHANGING.

During my fifth death it was revealed to me that I was love and things came into existence so that I could express my love to myself
in the form of other objects and people.

During my 6th death I realized that there were too many phenomenon in the universe to comprehend.

During my 7th death I longed for the dissolution of my sense of self. I wanted to return to a state of forgetting. I wanted to remember




Shivastus Solomonicus lay dying, at 999 years of age surrounded by his most faithful apostles.  Ataraxia, sat at his right hand reading to him and recording his dying will.  Noah Socrates was well on his way to return the book of all Wisdom to the Akashic Library.  Shivastus had purified himself of all of his karmas and had satisfied all of his desires he had achieved zero karma hundreds of years ago and felt nothing as his life slowly fled from him.  He faded in and out of consciousness and this is what he experienced.  

Noah Socrates was able to fill this in retroactively from the Akashic Library with the blessing of Frater S. S. 


I felt my soul project from my body shooting up like a rocket into the void of space.  I picked up speed and found myself heading towards Saturn, entering the atmosphere I suddenly I found myself in a room with a large scales in front of me and a large, black, Jackal headed creature facing me.  In front of the scales and the creature there was something, hideous, and writhing and disgusting that looked like the head of Medusa.  On either side of me facing in the same direction there were two muscular creatures looking similar to the first except each had a sword and a spear.  I sensed they were some manner of bailiffs.  The first creature spoke in a loud, deep, strange voice saying, “I am Dogon, and this is very serious, these are grave matters.  Your life is on trial.  How do you plead?”




“Do you see this knot floating in front of me?  That is the collective judgments and superstitions and traditions of all of the people from your realm and they disagree with you.  Defend your assertion.” 


“I only recognize the authority of reason as the law which has the right to judge me.”


“You appear lacking in humility.” 


“I am ill equipped to win the contest of humility, just as others are ill equipped to win the contest of ability, should I hide my light so that they think their own brighter?  I increased my talents and they buried their own.”


“You are an unpleasant, arrogant, creature.” 


“It is hard to live a life of pleasantness when you are wise and are surrounded by morons that want to force their way on you and are determined themselves to fail.  I disagree that I am arrogant, I believe I evaluate myself correctly.  Arrogance is thinking you are better than you are, I am as good as I think I am and I am willing to prove it.”  


“Do you mock my authority?”


“Does authority extend to making a crooked law? or practicing an injustice?  If you can’t prove me wrong in reasoned debate or in scientific experiment then I deserve a contest of strength.” 


“What you say is not untrue, but as long as this knot exists, your sentence is mandatory and I have no ability to lessen it.” 


Now, to say that Shivastus was a good martial artist would have been a lie.  He was a great martial artist, perhaps the greatest ever, he was a full fledged Tai Chi, he had absorbed so much orgone that he could move at the speed of thought and he had the strength of over 100 men.  Faster than the eye could see, or the mind could grasp, in one fell swoop he had grabbed one of the swords and was flipping through the air towards the Gordion Knot.  Charging the sword with chi and concentrating his intention, before anyone could act he severed the ugly giant head of sentimental judgments in twain, and their lay the dying Gorgon head, writhing and oozing and gurgling in its death throws.  


“You are free to go.”   Said the creature.  

Shivastus repercussed into his physical body, startling Ataraxia.  The rest of the account is told to us by her.  

“What is it, my guru?”

“I see myself in the garden of Eden.  I am the tree, and I am god, and I am Adam, and I am eve, and all three are one in me.  I have crossed the abyss… 


Shivastus exhaled his last breath and his body disappeared, a sparkly golden light filled the room.  There was the sound of haunting Angelic music, and the intoxicating smell of night blooming jasmine, the most delicate of smells.  The smell and the music lingered for three days and a million people came to visit the place of his death and it became a holy sight.  He had filled himself with so much orgone that when the soul energy was raised it also turned his physical body into intelligent energy.  The only thing left behind was his hair and nails, which, as was his request was made into a lab grown diamond and placed into a ring.  The carbon from his hair and nails colored the diamond the most beautiful unearthly color of blue and it was set in a shrine to wait for the appointed one that would save the Zed society if it became corrupt.  



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